LUPUS IS AN UNPREDICTABLE BEAST!
Hey, there! Haven't posted about running in a while because there hasn't been much of that going here. I've been having more lupus activity, and some of those issues are putting my running goals on hold. One big issue lately...Raynaud's phenomenon. Heard of that before? Here's a great link for a simple explanation:
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/heart/disorders/vascular/raynauds.aspx
These are some photos of my feet recovering from some bad blisters caused by Raynaud's. While I never thought I'd be posting photos of my feet online, these do show WHY my feet aren't very fit for running far right now. Yes, they are painful.
In addition to the Raynaud's, right now I'm dealing with persistent nausea and abdominal pain, bleeding, lupus migraines (which may be related to the Raynaud's), dizziness and unsteadiness, disturbing heart palpitations and a high resting heart rate, pronounced fatigue, anemia, joint pain, swelling, mouth sores, dry eyes and mouth. I've tried ignoring these symptoms, but guess what...they're real, so they don't just go away.
So...all this stuff is kinda scary. Will it get better soon enough for me to train for the spring and summer races I signed up to do? Will it improve enough for me to just walk without pain? Will the doctors figure out how to combat these things? Will I have to add medications? Will it get better at all? What if I can't run anymore? What if...what if...what if...
One BIG thing about living with lupus is that the rough times make me appreciate the "normal" times SO much more! Like the days when I can go to the grocery store and run errands WITHOUT a nap afterwards. I appreciate the days that I have energy to do things like clean my house. The rough times also send me to the Lord and drive me to my knees. I don't hide my emotions from God~He knows the truth anyway! I talk to God in my angry voice, my sad voice, my searching voice, and my thankful voice. And...I've learned to be silent and listen for what He has to say, both through His word and in prayer time.
Eccl 3:1-8
a season for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to rebuild.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
A TIME TO RUN AND A TIME TO............look forward to running again!
Lupus makes it hard to make plans! That's a tough pill for a "Type-A" like me to swallow. However...
I'LL BE BACK!!!
For
you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet
from stumbling.
Psalm 116:8
Let me know when you are ready, I want to visit with a cobbler. Thanks for really keeping us posted on how you really are. I am thanking God now that you are getting better, cause I am calling on the things with faith that I can't yet see, yet truly believe.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
Aunt Sarah
I have been waiting for your next entry. Thank you for keeping us informed on how you are doing, medically and spiritually. I want so badly to reach through this computer and just hug you. I love you Jonella! Aunt Mary Ann
ReplyDeletePrayers are with you always and for you Jonella and Ben! Know we care and a huge hug would be nice to give you sometime soon. We love you! I would love to make it better, but I can't but know the prayers are with you and our Amazing God will get you through this! I have so many questions about why and why her , but I know exactly what you are saying and feeling. God will keep all of us strong though this. Love you bunches kiddo!
ReplyDeleteAunt Linda and Uncle Mike!
Thank you so much for this! I have been struggling with exact same symptoms for the last 4 years! The most frustrating part is doctors can't seem to diagnose me...I just go from doctor to doctor trying to get answers and help. Oh and my feet look almost just like yours! ... I have not been able to exercise in almost two years without getting out of breath and dizzy within the first 5 min. or so. I am also a Christian an continuously seek God in all I do but I will say it is hard, and I'm just "sick of being sick"....anyway I really appreciate your encouraging words! THANK YOU!
ReplyDeletehow are you now healed up for now i was like that and i came back
ReplyDeleteThis blog is so nice to me. I will keep on coming here again and again. Visit my link as well.. foot worship
ReplyDelete